Messy Organization

OKay there are somethings in me that are like my mother that I cannot escape. A small portion of those things, I don't want to give up being.

For one thing, why does organizing get me so excited? Filling boxes, making labels, creating order from trash- I love it. But I hate to clean. I come home and dread that the only thing I am absolutely going to FORCE myself to do that night is clean. And I would rather do anything else. And to make said cleaning happen, I'll tell myself I can't do other things until it's done. But that means... none of those other things ever get done.

It's true, I'm happier when things around me are orderly. I sleep better, I wake up happier, I'm more productive, and I can get to creative projects. But something inside me just hates to clean. It's like the never ending to-do task that haunts me like a smoking habit. I'll never check it off quiiiiite all the way. and the moment I take a break, it comes back- dirtier than ever.

Sometimes I blame the ADD. But other times like tonight, I just want to sew or draw or write or chat with someone.

I wonder what kind of wife I'll make. I was thinking this while browsing at Office Depo. Men don't have to be great cooks or keep a tidy and beautiful home. Their God-given responsibility is to provide while the woman is preggers. Can't help that natural fact of life. I'm not saying he can't HAVE those skills but no one thinks the less of him. A refined woman is one who knows how to decorate. Who's bathroom isn't just clean under the seat, but the towels match the floor mat. I wish I would do those things. If I was supremely wealthy perhaps I'd take a trip to Bed Bath & Beyond and dump a bunch of money on matching items. And I'd get such a thrill setting it all up. But the everyday maintenance would soon get the best of me I bet. Or maybe it wouldn't- if I were proud of it?

ANd truth be told- my common area's are ALWAYS a thousand times cleaner than my bedroom. My secret haven of Me. Where I know where everything is because I put it there. All my secrets and memories surrounding me. I don't even mind if it's messy- but my internal grownup thinks- HOW CAN YOU LIVE THIS WAY?

I don't know. I just don't enjoy hanging my clothes and folding my socks, and throwing away paperwork.

But ohhhh how I loved picking just the right hooks for the bathroom. I may be poor- but I splurged on a nice set of white hooks to hang my blow dryer and curling iron. And I'll proudly use them too.

SO when people ask me what material things do I want, it isn't trips to Europe or Massive technology (although lately I've a hunger for an iphone...). Instead on my way home I made a list of material things I wish I could buy. Here are the ones I can remember:

- Round sticky thing to keep the toothbrush holder still. The last two broke...
- Semi-circle desk organizer for my pins, pens, rubber bands, and paper clips for my desk at work.
- A lunch box to take to work everyday
- 12 port surge protector
- Why was Office Depo out of those soft white cable ties?
- All-in-one Printer/scanner (and perhaps a larger desk...)
- Wouldn't life be SO GROWN UP if I came home to a comfy office chair?!
- New set of drawers for my art materials (I've given up trying to organize those things)
- I'd like a rug for my bedroom....
- A teal painting for the bathroom
- Round corner table for the kitchen
- BIG Split trash can for trash and recycling. I hate having two that are mis matched.
- curtains for the dining room
- A hat./coat rack

FOr christmas I bought myself four things - a bookshelf (which I don't know how to build, so right now it's a stepping stool....), a breakfast in bed tray (WHICH I LOVE), A larger trashcan with a LID (also love love love), and a bedspread. I wish I was more in love with the spread but it;s very grown up and I'm sure I'll get used to it.

sigh. I'm going to have to be a working mother so I can afford to have a maid come clean once a month...