Thursday, January 26, 2012

All Things All People

Sigh. Not again. :/ But I blame myself for not having enforced boundaries.

However, peach snow ice was awesome.

One other comment, I was called a number of things last night. One was 'Extraordinary' which felt like a 2 dollah word. Also an Effing Tease. But of course they didn't say "effing". I'm really not used to having someone describe me with the f word. I'm sure they meant it as a compliment but it took me out of the moment. I have a hard time swallowing Tease, but and effing tease? I guess that's what happens when I let my debutant side sit on the backburner.

People always seem surprised when they find out about a different side of my personality. Like everyone else only has one.

Of course I'm delicate and i don't like horror movies. But I also love action movies, guns, and ninjas. Of course I like jazz and classical music. I also listen to rock and pop songs. But I also like some kinds of rap and top 40. Metallica, Martin Leung, Green Day, Moosebutter, Ludo, Weird Al, Victor Borge, and Kannon. Why do people have a disconnect when I wear glasses verses contacts? Or when they find out I have a healthy libido? Like everyone else?

One night during a grim summer in Vegas, I was up late writing in my cream colored diary. I was in 8th grade I think and I had just made a new set of otaku friends. In it, I drew pictures of myself in different outfits and personalities and wrote alongside it the question, "Who am I?" I remember a distinct epiphany at that time where I felt like my brain had just grown- I'm everything, of course. Well, not EVERYTHING. Just the things I want to be.

Sometimes I wonder if the ability to like so many different things came from so much isolation. If I have to thank those summers, then I will. But I'd rather not.

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