Past Tense

On the one hand, I could never be with someone like that because of how self-centered he is. At the same time, here I am about to complain to my blog how utterly beat and tense I am and I'd like someone to put me to bed.

I'm too beat to list all the fires. Let's put it this way, It's 12:35am and my flight leaves in about 30 hours and I literally have not had the time to take my brand new Macbook I bought a week ago out of the box and set it up for proper use.

Much less started packing yet.

Al says I shouldn't have to do this stuff, but the truth is, I do. I wouldn't be me if I didn't have the skills and the desire to use them for good instead of evil. What I don't have is time. And Help. But maybe those things are a part of my personality too.

I'll try to decide as I sleep if I'm more tired or more tense.

Rare

I kinda like those days when something takes you outside the office in the middle of your work day to shake things up. A fire drill, a company lunch, even just going down stairs to get the mail can be a cleansing experience. Just something to shake up your day.

My excessively cute guy friend had an interview at UCLA hospital today and dropped by to see me at work. I came outside and we sat on a bench while I asked him how the interview went. Then as I let him out of the parking structure he leaned out of the window and kissed me.

So, it was kinda a nice break from my normal day. Random, rare, and really nice to come back into the office with this secret...

sick & tired & disneyland

I am sick. I am tired. and I promised to work on this ad. Why is it when you can't handle much, it all seems to pile on top of you? I've been with this bug for over a week now and it's debilitating and frustrating. I stayed up late last night and the night before I had TERRIBLE food poisoning which kept me up. And no I have to wake up extra early to do this print ad by tomorrow  and my busted computer that I was trying to replace since I thought this illness was a simple allergy, doesn't recognize my external hard drive so I have to go back through all my emails and download PEICE BY PEICE all the graphic elements from my last ad for them because the client isn't bright enough to send it together ever, much less when I need to do a brand new ad for them. But they can't send it to me until later this afternoon. Well I won't be sitting around this afternoon because I have so many other responsibilities  that I need to get done I'm not even sure I'll be able to get to THEM because it's Lisa's birthday and I told her we could go to disneyland.

But I'm writing all these pathetic issues here instead of any place where I can get help (even my roommate will be gone until Sunday night... and btw I have to keep the house pristine until she does because she's coming with her family and wants them to be impressed.) because I don't want to be a complainer and have Tim call me a failure or a quitter. You know what else sucks? I'm worried about Tim and I'd like to reach out to him but the last time I did that he called me two-faced. So what do I have to do to be a good friend, sit here and pretend I don't care? I've never been good at that so we'll see how long I stay smart and not got to the rescue of someone who clearly doesn't want me around.

#$&% I HATE DISNEYLAND.