Seriously, if I have to hear or read the words, “Happy birthday” one more time, I might puke. Puke rainbows of course, but I’m just sick of hearing the words today. I’m going to have to respond to all my messages.
You know it really is nice to be loved. It’s weird. Everyone seemed to want to make sure I was well taken care of- a new thing for me. Normally it’s just me taking care of myself.
WARNING: the Following story is Depressing. SKIP IT if you don’t want to be disheartened about me and birthdays. For me, it is sad- but I only look back on it with a slightly bitter taste. It’s not ruining my day, I just want to record it. I put a pretty picture up to distract you.
Start of Story
I remember one birthday in Las Vegas with my mother that made me miserable. OK, in general, most holidays with that woman were pretty traumatic. This was just no exception. For some reason, did you know that it is mandatory for the birthday person to get exactly what they want the entire day and that by law, you must demand to eat at your favorite restaurant? It’s true. My mother made me aware of this fact by forcing me to sit on her bed and decide where to go to dinner. I had no idea. And just as I had no preferences, she had no suggestions. She raised us to just eat anything placed in front of us and be satisfied. Any portion, any time, we should be grateful. So at the tender age of 12 or so, I had not developed any preferences on food, and I didn’t really know restaurants (particularly in Vegas) that I wanted. I tried to explain this to my mother- I didn’t care. She got upset. Very upset. I tried to plead, please don’t make me choose. I just want everyone to have a good time and I don’t want to make that choice. Please don’t make me. As the household pretended not to hear her yelling at me, they also became steadily hungrier and angrier- but silent. And every moment she spent making me feel guilty was another moment we were not eating. She harangued- how could I be doing this to the family? At that moment I would have been happier to stay home alone and eat saltines and water if only this would stop.
I hated it. It was wretched. Lol- here is the good part. I picked a place near our house called ‘Texas’ where they have barbeque and hot wings and stuff. I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich because I don’t like to get my fingers dirty.
Can you believe she became upset with me right in front of the waiter about what a stupid choice it was? How I could have had that at home if that’s what I wanted?
I felt so stupid. I screwed up the mandatory dinner.
End of Story
Well, that memory anyway. Something in the back of my mind says that I should never celebrate myself.
Well the celebrations have not yet ended. Angel is being as sweet as she is and has decided to take over my evening for a birthday party. I have no idea what she wants but I hope I get to go home and change before whatever it is. I want to play games and eat noodles. And clean my room. Dag, I knew I should have done this a while back. Sa~
John says he and Angel have something for me tonight, so does Chris, and so does Aino (but I don’t know when I’ll see them). And of course Kai. This leaves very little time for me to set up my new favorite gift: my netflix account. -^^- squeeeeeeeeeee! Mah, but I’m also excited for my TB and VGL CD. <3 What more could I ask for? Oh wait! I want a nice birthday kiss too. One that says, “Thank goodness you’re alive.” Lol. I’m such a dork. Aw, quit being such a girl Casey. It’s not becoming.
You know what I just realized? I have not heard that traditional birthday song yet this year. I mean, no one has sung it to me. Weird. Is that legal?
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