Lost

Ever have one of those days that you feel like nothing will ever work out?
You put your whole heart into something and it was all a waste of time. You wonder if it’s worth it, if you’re worth it. If the time and hours and tears you spent are useless and pain and you’re personified nothing. You feel small and insignificant. You can’t change anything and worst, you can’t seem to change yourself. You can see it all before you and you know what you have to do but you can’t.

And I can’t control the world like I want to. I can’t control the way people see me or treat me or feel about me as much as I think I can. Maybe a little, but not enough to keep the ones I love, and put away the ones I don’t. I can’t always be what everyone needs. I try and I work really hard to know everything and to be the person you need, but I can only do so much. And it hurts to know it. To feel it. And then experience the effects.


I’ve lost people recently and I know that means that my life and heart have to change.
But it really hurts. It really hurts tonight.