The Videogamegasm.

Sigh. why must I always feel poor around my birthday? It’s probably because I like spending money on other people much more than myself. So when I’m faced with a situation in which I SHOULD spend on myself, I come up with excuses. And feeling poor is a powerful excuse for me.

But to be honest, the VGL concert was the best birthday present I could have given myself. I had forgotten how absolutely moving piano music can be for me. And I haven’t heard it live in so long, it was refreshing and clean like rain in the desert. Honestly, I freaked out in the stands. After each piece I stood up and cheered until I almost lost my breath. Such a pure and awesome feeling. I’m allowed that right? I mean, other people freak out about their favorite rock stars or actor. I just happen to have fallen for this one performer. Technically speaking, is his not perfect by any means. He gets too excited and hits more keys than he intended, or he’ll just miss, sometimes he speeds up or slowly down awkwardly. But it isn’t just the (DBZ-like) speed that makes him fan-frik’n-tastic. It’s the SMILE he has when he plays! He love video games! Just like me! I just feel that joy I felt during my first Mario games when I was a little girl when I listen to him. And no amount of outside drama or turmoil can take me away when I’m playing videogames. For some reason- I think they are my ultimate escape. I don’t like to play with friends- just family. When I would watch Eric. For hours on end. And that was such an awful time in my life, I gave my heart to video games. And now that I’m turning into a grown woman, it’s still an escape for me. A time of peace and thoughtless fun. Which I really don’t do very often. It’s a true vacation.

I’ve decided what I want to do for my birthday- Video games. Now, I’m sure that Lisa or Aino will figure something they want to plan for me. I’ll let them do that. But the day of my birth is a Monday. And I have FHE…dammit. But it should be a fun activity if we pull it off okay. So I’ll go. But all I want is to play videogames.

Now that I think about it, this has happened before on my birthday. When I turned 23 I went to a bowling alley alone and spent a few hours with their arcade and pacman. During one summer in Vegas with my mom all I wanted to do was play DDR- which was fine, they took me to a casino arcade…and then watched me play. It was an awful experience. All I really wanted that year was to be on my own. And then on my 24th birthday I went to San Diego and we played mini-golf, went to the beach, and dressed fancy for dinner... and then played videogames at an arcade. And then this year I want to try Dave & Busters because I love air-hockey. (Pretty good at it too if I may say so myself.)

Oh my gosh…why did I never see this pattern? Holy gun bunnies… Seriously, you’re going to laugh at me but I never noticed this before…what an idiot I am.

Maybe I am what steven accused me of- an escapist. I just don’t escape very often. maybe if I did I'd be happier?

But going back to the original point- I have a piano fixation and video game music on that ideal instrument (piano is my second favorite instrument next to the cello) is excellence to me. Pure unadulterated excellence. And even if Martin Leung isn’t a stickler- there are too many perfectionists in the world, I love him because his joy in the music makes me happy. Really happy. <3
The Video Game Pianist