Faith in Happiness

I had a strange thing happen to me this morning.
As I was getting dressed to go to work two different people contacted me.
The first was on skype, someone I met a while ago who lives in Mongolia. He's an ex-mormon and in broken English was telling me about his mission in Russia and then how he lived with a girl and how much he enjoyed sex.  He said he did it, not because he didn't believe in a higher power, just that he wanted to find his own happiness. I didn't prompt this conversation- he just started confessing all this stuff as though he needed me to accept him. I had not, nor have I since spoken of or given any sign that I looked down on him for any of these choices (the one time I did really disprove was when he called my cell phone without my providing my number. Why do guys think that's romantic? It's creepy.) He inquired if I was still a virgin.
At that time I had a text message from someone I knew from the south. He asked to see me for 'dinner'. I know very well what it would mean to take him up on his offer for a massage and to let this guy cook for me. Not that going over to his place and enjoying our time together would be such an awful thing. But I know what it would mean.
The man from Mongolia then softened his speech. He told me he no longer wanted that life he lived. That God's wisdom was greater than his own. After a little thought of holding my phone in my lap and sitting in front of my computer... I told him that I would trust God too. I'm going to have to trust that doing the right things will lead me to some greater happiness than what I could make for myself.
I don't see it perfectly yet, but I have in the past been blessed with situations and opportunities I couldn't have created for myself.
Even without a Lord to promise great things, it's still not a good idea. My carnal lusts might be satisfied but I'd have fallen for that guy and wasted a lot of time that I shouldn't. Waste a lot of feelings on people who aren't worth all the tears.
For example, why the hell would I ever fixate on Masato? Put so much stock into his opinion of me?  Why would I try so hard to change things about myself that are perfectly fine because I wanted his approval? It's a wasted connection that I let form.
Monday night he called me to tell me that he was about to start dating a girl that I know, and he didn't want me to get the wrong idea just because we are close friends- he probably won't have time to talk to me anymore because he'd like to be devoted to his new girlfriend. He's sorry we didn't work out (what? like... a year ago? ) and he's moving to a new apartment so now he can invite other girls over, even if this new relationship doesn't work out.
Why did I ever put my faith in this guy? One who, even now doesn't think of me as a friend but rather a prospect on the back burner.

That mostly aside, I'm really homesick. I'm keeping very busy but the last two weeks marches on in the same mood- like a cloud over my heart. A cloud of intellectual loneliness I guess. Not that I need a rousing debate or a philosophical book but that I'm missing someone to feel I can rest my mind with. Does that make sense? Someone I can talk to? So I miss my family. Really badly right now. Even though I talked with my step-mom just last week and my little brother yesterday, I miss having some kind of person to go to. To talk out my feelings and thoughts. It's like going in circles, I can't explain it well.

I just can't explain it but I've got to keep going and trying not to be a nuisance.