Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Awkward silences rule?

Wow- I feel like I’m losing my friends at an increasingly rapid pace. Not misplacing them or even not liking them anymore- but needing to stop talking to them for sure. Is this the face of a person who gets run over a lot? I guess the tire marks don’t make good makeup. I have three.

So, I have a date tonight. Weird. Mostly because he asked… in such a manly way. I mean, if I hated his guts I would have accepted, just to honor the awesome that is this request. It was…so nice.

For some reason I’m the slighted bit relieved that when I met him I was a total mess. Because now anything I do has to be better than I was. Gobs of liner mushed under my eyes that I tried to distract from by adding more gobs on top of my eyes, probably a few tear streaks hopefully interrupted by the addition of blush. It was like putting makeup on a ruffled duck. I didn’t shave but I had Band-Aids on my legs from bug bites I’m still recovering from (I was wearing a white skirt). And my shoddy outfit I wore all day was cute in theory, but I think I must have smelled like the cold Santa Monica beach. Not to mention when light thin blonde hair meets the clammy outside winds of nature, it gets stringy and flat.
The last two weeks or so, all I’ve been doing is pushing a brush through my hair so I don’t even know how that’s going. It’s just not worth it to check.

So if you can imagine all that- that’s how it was. On top of which, I thought I blew our conversation near the end. Stumbling over embarrassing accomplishments and weak observations. I excused myself to go home before I was really ready because I was tired (and pretty emotionally weak also considering I hadn’t eaten one crumb since noon the day before and it was now 10:10pm)

“Meh” I thought. “Another one bites the dust.” It didn’t bother me too much. I tried to stop punishing myself for another awkward social encounter and be proud of myself that even despite the drama of the day- a nice guy asked for my email. Yay! I’m still semi-attractive. I didn’t reaaaaaally think he’d remember my name. When I left him, he didn’t look like he thought so either. So I didn’t think much of it when I was looking at some pictures of the event, saw his name on the artists list, and friended him on facebook.

About 24 hours later I got a message. Now, my experience in these situations is that the person of interest will come up with a reason to chat with me if we happen to be online at the same time. “Oh hey! Did you see the pictures of the event? I thought you might want the link because you were there. Hahaha. Semi-witty banter. Inside jokes from our only conversation. Rib rib, more things I remember. Yeah I remember that too. Awkward silence.” Ok, I guess no one can say ‘awkward silence’. Just kinda pause. This pattern can continue for a few hundred months, or if they are being manly, they’ll pluck of the courage to suggest doing something together.

Uh, none of that happened this time. I have gathered (because I’m one smart cookie) that he is 38. A few years outside my real comfortably zone (10 years older max and if you can’t do math- he is 13 years older). Nevertheless, this must account for the directness that I find so appealing. I got a message:

“You know... it's kinda hard to forget your email address when you beat me to the punch by friending me on facebook first. :P

I'd like to see you again. Coffee... Hot chocolate... Long walk without a destination in mind?

~l”

HoMaiGoodnessDidAnybodyHearThat?! It sounded like… a bang? Did this guy really just unabashedly fire his gun at me? How could I avoid a shot like that? Why would I even want to?

Wither I know we’ll work out in the long term or not (we won’t) is irrelevant in this case. I thought about it for some time, then responded. I’m sort of excited. I wonder what a real man is like…

*Edit* Holy frik. I just found the stats page on blogger. What is wrong with you people? O.o I know I have a lot more entries here than the dating blog but the number of hits in this steam pile of emo mush can’t be more than the bitter rantings of my social life. These numbers are really silly…

No comments:

Post a Comment