5 new interviews doesn't excuse bad old habits

let's see how much energy I have left.
my dad calls me "wonder woman". I don't think he meant it sincerely, but it was probably an inopportune moment to ask for anything more clever or sincere.
5 interviews today. the first three were on the phone starting at 8:30, 10:00, and then 11:00. At noon I dressed and went to my 1:00 interview with Ajilon downtown. I must have parked in the wrong place because it cost me 12bucks and change. And on my way there my gas light went on. So I navigated some strangled beeline to a chevron and picked up a bigmac as well, worried i'd sweat though my interviewing suit just after I had it dry cleaned. I would have then gone straight to hollywood but I forgot to write down the address of the place I was going. so home it was. I left at 3:45 and arrive in north hollywood at 5:20 for a 5o'clock group appointment just after my "check Engine" light went off. Great. I must have looked like such a child to them. I felt like a child. but I plastered on a confident grin and tried to bare it. I don't think I got that job. All the better, that commute is hell.

Immediately as I began to travel home I felt his huge wave of exaughstion hit me. I eeked home on the freeway past the hollywood bowl which had a huge inconvenient performance tonight that forced me to sit even longer in my car.On my way home I picked up a microwave dinner, english muffins, and more oriental top ramen. But I didn't end up eating any of it. I just put away my things, changed clothes, and blacked out on my couch next to my roommate who was also napping on her couch while the TV played some crime drama I felt was pretty poorly acted.

I got in a little frog breeding but other than that, my ipad died from lack of power and so did I. Just now I made myself an english muffin for dinner and changed into Pjs before checking my phone for messages.

because I have so many good prospects in the works, I'm not going to muddle my time with more applications. most of them i should hear back by tomorrow if I go on to the next step. So my goals are to:
- eat three times
- clean my room (a huge task on any given day)
- do at least one load of laundry
- shower
- wash my car like I've been dying to
- fillout the ue online form
- sign up for driving school
- pay my LATEST ticket. -_-
- ignore my car troubles
- and maybe... go? On a picnic? to the getty? To ROyalT to sit with my laptop and write out my essays with a vanilla cupcake and mint hot coco to my side. You know, the kinds of things I always wish I could do when I'm working like crazy.

Just one dream tomorrow, that's all I ask.

I'm getting more and more disappointed/frustrated with my waning friendship with the insouciant *******. He's getting to be lame, and that's his fault. I keep catching myself thinking of plots to get him to know what I want or what I'm thinking. Then I remember that's sick and I should only be acting on and about what I can control. And his nonchalance about me is disturbing. I'd like a replacement- but that's sick too. I'm disappointed to find I was so transient. I liked to think I was special. :/ I have to face facts though. and try to limit how angry I sound when I talk to him because I know how useless it all is. I'd like to cut it all off suddenly, but if I did then either he'd try to fix it (without the ability to) or worse- do nothing. Thereby confirming my phobia of being so replaceable.

It makes me want to reach out to other personified crutches for support. But I'm trying to resist that. Of all the times in life I need God's help, now isn't a good time to fall into bad old habits.


....although. ALong those lines, guess who finally sent me a little email? You got it. And I was over the moon with squishy girly joy.
Talk about bad habits.

I need sleep.