Wednesday, August 10, 2011

More elevator problems?

So I’m left with a woman in the elevator going upwards and we have two floors to go- hers and then mine. Before the last person gets out she starts slamming her thumb over and over into the ^ button. As though if she doesn’t we’re going to fall willy nilly though the shaft unless she reminds the thing that we’re in here. The doors close at exactly the same pace they would have normally (with what I imagine to be a great amount of admirable patience) and we start to rise to our destinations.

The woman sighs in relief and turns to me. “I don’t trust this elevator. Just so you know, I’m not crazy.” Admittedly, these elevators have had their neurological problems in the past, but not that much, and not in any way they you’d need to damage the thing to get it to work right. As she exited, I thought “Doing that doesn’t help your case, lady.”

Why is it I am so keenly aware of the impatience of elevator campanions? Like they have some magic power the rest of us don’t. If I am standing at the bottom waiting for it to arrive, the golden button pointing up is lit up, why is is that others feel the need to push it again? As though I didn’t do it right the first time? Do you have a thumbprint with authority to make it arrive faster? Are you making sure I pushed it hard enough? Will the light go brighter? Does the electrical system prepare for more passengers if it’s pressed more than once? Is that why it’s not enough that YOU push it again, but you need to push it four or five times to make sure it heard you?

What is this?

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